Visits From Mom
by Season
1996
My mother passed away of cancer ten years ago when I was 22 years old. As I was sitting there in the front row of the funeral looking at my her body in the casket wallowing in my pain I got this sudden and powerful urge to look up. It was if my eyes were moving of their own accord. There about 15 feet above her body was my mother. She was looking at me directly in the eye and smiling and out of nowhere this sudden burst of joy and peace washed over me. I smiled back at her and after a few more seconds she was gone.
About 3 months later I was going through a crisis in my life and didn’t think I would make it out of my rut. To make a long story short, in life my mother basically destroyed my self-esteem and self-confidence. I just kept crying and saying to myself, “I can’t do it, I can’t!” meaning I can’t dig myself out of this. I had lost all hope when suddenly from the right side of the room I got the impression someone was there. I then heard a loud voice tell me, “YES YOU CAN!!” It was my mother’s voice. That very moment, after months of agony, I finally found the strength and courage to start picking myself back up and after about a month and a half, I was back to normal again. As I said, in life my mother destroyed my self-confidence, but in “death” she gave some of it back to me.
Two years later (1998) I had just found out that I was pregnant with my second child, my daughter. I went to sleep that night with natural worries and concerns on my mind and sometime later, during my sleep, my mother visited me again. The only thing I can say is that she must have known I was afraid because all of a sudden I turned my head to the right and she was sitting about 5 feet away from my bed. She reached her arms out to me (like she NEVER did in life) and my spirit “ran” to her and into her arms. When she held me it was the most precious and heart wrenching experience I have ever felt. I never knew how it felt in life to be held and comforted by a mother so this touched me more than I can say. My spirit cried in her arms for long moments before she left and I went back to my body. When I returned I woke up almost immediately and already had tears streaming down my face, tears of joy! Yet again, she knew I needed her and came to me in my dream. I have not seen her since but I feel very comforted to know that she is able to come back to me when she wants to.
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